Herman Cain, Asshat
You may not have known much about Herman Cain before he spoke at a conference in Iowa that gave GOP presidential hopefuls a chance to impress conservative voters. But you know by now that Cain favors job discrimination against American Muslims. When asked if he would appoint a Muslim to his cabinet, Cain said:
"I will not and here's why. There is this creeping attempt, this attempt, to gradually ease Sharia Law and the Muslim faith into our government."
Wow! I bet you didn't know that. Where did Cain get his information?
The former radio host and former CEO of Godfather's Pizza isn't backing down from his comments. More on that later. Those comments alone tell you that Cain is a third-degree asshat from the High Order of Royal Asshats. You see, asshats speak a different language than we do. The language they speak is called Asshat. And you are so lucky I speak Asshat. Just for you, my dear reader(s), I am about to translate Mr. Cain's words from Asshat to English. Here is what he said:
"Like all other asshats, I'm a dichotomous thinker. I can't differentiate the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11 from law-abiding American Muslims. I don't trust them and I want you to fear them as much as I do. I have to make up a bunch of shit to justify my Islamophobia. And if I can convince you to fear Muslims, then I might earn your vote. Now I don't know who Sharia Law is, but the Muslims just love her. Unlike conservative Christians, Muslims want their religious laws to be the law of the land."And as if that wasn't enough, Cain went on Fox News to defend his remarks and to give me more material to work with. He told Neil Cavuto:
"I would have to have people totally committed (in my administration) to the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of this United States. And many of the Muslims, they are not totally dedicated to this country. They are not dedicated to our Constitution. Many of them are trying to force Sharia Law on the people of this country. And so, yes, I did say it, and that is because I don't have time to be watching someone on my administration if they are not totally committed to the Declaration and the Constitution of the United States and the laws of this country."Again, where is this asshat getting his information? Has he talked with American Muslims who have told him that they are not "totally committed" to the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of "this" United States? (As opposed to "that" United States?) But shouldn't that be "these" United States instead of "this" United States? (Yes, and it should be "those" United States instead of "that" United States.)
Anywaze...let's translate what Cain told Cavuto...from Asshat to English:
"All American Muslims are secretly funding terrorists. If they were committed to the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, they'd be Christians. But unlike conservative Christians, American Muslims want to force their beliefs on everyone. They'll make it illegal to practice Christianity in these United States. They'd close down all the liquor stores and casinos! It could happen as early as tomorrow! Be afraid! Be very afraid!"And this guy wants to be your president. First of all, Godfather's Pizza sucks...and Cain didn't make it suck any less when he was their CEO. Secondly, I don't want to spend four years of my life translating Asshat. By the time I've written about all the other Republican hopefuls, I will have heard all the Asshat I want to hear.
There are so many things fundamentally wrong with this blog I am having difficulty deciding which to discuss first... and I am not even a fan of Cain, nor a Republican (nor even a conservative). Then I realized it would be a waste of time. You are a closed-minded, true-believer whom cannot think outside your pre-determined notions, so why bother? You'll just use spin and misdirection to bolster your own narrow view, and I do not have the time to argue with you.
ReplyDeleteSo let me offer a couple of pieces of advice. One, if you want to be taken seriously drop the 'asshat' nonsense. People - from both sides - whom resort to ineffective name-calling only prove they lack intellectual fortitude, when they employ such tactics.
Secondly, source your material with links. You clearly pulled an entire conversation from Cavuto's inanely pointless program, and you did not even bother to link from where you grabbed it. That is not only bad form, but copyright infringement. It is bloggers like yourself whom will eventually cause laws to be passed that will ruin it for those of us who actually play by the rules.
Hey Stone, got arrogance?
ReplyDeleteLD,
ReplyDeleteThanks you for translating the asshat for me. Well done.
Peace,
Tex Shelters
Arrogance - that's it? LOL That kind of proves my point about misdirection, no?
ReplyDeleteNo, not arrogant at all - very humble, actually. I did not resort to childish name-calling, nor presumed to translate other people's words - THAT is an arrogant thing to do. If you re-read your own blog, however, I think you find what you thought you saw in my post.
Oh, and you're welcome. :)
Stone,
ReplyDeleteConsidering the fact that you said you had no time to argue with me, you sure seem to have time to...well...argue with me. I'm sorry if I disappointed you with my very short response earlier. You see, I've been busy most of the morning with clients...trying to help them improve the quality of their lives. You know, doing things with my day that are actually meaningful. I suggest you do the same. I'm on my lunch hour now, and I need to get back to work. In the meantime, if criticizing me helps you cope with your own insecurities, I'm glad I can help. I post a real response tonight and if I'm worth your time, you can come back tonight and read it. I'm just so honored that you would deign to acknowledge my existence in the first place.
And thank you, Tex.
ReplyDeleteMy friend Brian sent me the following email. I asked if I could cut and paste it here and he said yes:
ReplyDeleteI don't have an account to post on your political blog but here's my comment for Stone:
Oh yes, "spin and misdirection." I think you're talking about Fox. Lorenzo actually backs his opinions with fact. If you're not a Republican you might as well be. Nice tactic, so many things wrong with this blog you just don't have the time to argue--or apparently the "intellectual fortitude."
Do you not understand this is a blog with a comedic slant, and one that manages to make a point all the same. Are you one of those Republicans who doesn't get The Colbert Report is satire?
Oh, and learn the correct usage of whom, Mr. Intellectual Fortitude.
Okay, here are the words of His Royal Self-Righteousness, Price Stone of the Internet, translated into English:
ReplyDelete"There are so many things fundamentally wrong with this blog, but I can't prove my point, so I'm just going to use a standard copout and say that it would be a waste of my time to point them out. Besides, I don't have time to argue with you, but I do have time to post a 193-word comment and I'll have time to come back later to see if you responded to my comment, at which time I'll post a 69-word comment. But I have no time to argue with you.
"Since I'm so much more intelligent than you, so I'm going to offer a couple of pieces of advice in a condescending manner because I refuse to speak to you as if you are an equal. One, if you want to be taken seriously drop the 'asshat' nonsense. I am so much more mature than you and I don't resort to childish name calling, but you are a closed-minded, true-believer whom cannot think outside your pre-determined notions. For someone I've never spoken to before, I sure know a lot about you. Hey, I may be judgmental and self-righteous, but I don't resort to childish name-calling. Instead, I try to hurl invective and act obnoxious in a more sophisticated manner. You need to be classy like me.
"Secondly, live up to my perfect standards and source your material with links. You clearly pulled an entire conversation from Cavuto's inanely pointless program, and you did not even bother to link from where you grabbed it. That is not only bad form, but copyright infringement. Actually, there's no truth in what I just said, but I have to accuse you of something terrible to make myself look important. It is bloggers like yourself whom will eventually cause laws to be passed that will ruin it for self-important people like me who actually play by the rules."
Please use asshat as often as possible to describe anyone in Politics who warrants the title. This should be no problem because there would be an extremely short list of those Politicians who are not asshats and could be written on the head of a pin. Actually, asshat could be used for other people outside of Politcs, too. Especially those who do not like pie. Or pi and phi either. The world would be a much nicer place if we could all have some nice home-made pie every day, maybe with milk or ice cream or even coffee. Pie makes people happier than politicians, since politicians generally want the whole pie. They do not share nicely nor play well with others and cry easily when they do not get their own way.
ReplyDelete